The "Annoying Coworker" in My Head: Learning to Co-exist with discomfort.

I’m sitting here right now, trying to work on my new course, and honestly, it’s a mess inside.

There is a voice in my head telling me I’m uncomfortable. I’m feeling down, I’m restless, and I’m spiralling into that dark thought that this course I’m pouring my heart into is just a piece of crap. No one is going to buy it anyway, the voice says. Why bother?

I have the awareness to know what’s happening. I’m at day 27 of my cycle, and my hormones are running wild. But even with that awareness, the feelings are still heavy. They are still so real.

The Search for an Exit

My brain is screaming for a way out. I want to eat these feelings. I want to shut the laptop and disappear into Netflix. Even though I’m 100% caffine-free now, coffee is calling me from the kitchen. I know that no caffeine is what works better for my nervous system, but there’s a part of me arguing, "Surely you deserve it? Your eyes are heavy… just one cup!"

Then, the therapist in me wakes up. The one who tells people how to handle this stuff all day long. She starts lecturing me about psychological flexibility and "making room" for the discomfort.

And then, because it’s crowded in here, another voice pipes up: "Oh my god, can you just give it a rest? Do you have to be a therapist every single minute of every day?"

Finding the Middle Ground

It’s a lot. But in the middle of that internal shouting match, I remembered to pause.

I noticed that even though there’s all this going on inside, there’s still a part of me that can slow down and continue to work at a pace that this chaos, mood, and hormonal cascade can manage. I don't have to sprint; I have to move.

I started thinking about it like an annoying coworker.

I’ve mostly been self-employed, so I haven’t spent heaps of time in offices, but I hear so many stories from clients about the challenges of working with difficult people. You can’t fire them, and you can’t always walk out on your job. You have to find a way to keep going while they’re being loud in the cubicle next to you.

That is what today is. It’s about noticing that "co-worker" in my head who is just annoying the hell out of me, and instead of fighting them, I can allow them to just be there as I quietly put on my music and continue my work anyway. I can still get stuff done, it just looks a little different than expected.

Thinking Bigger

Writing this to you, and even just doing this for the sake of helping others see that they can do it too, has helped. Sometimes, when we feel trapped in our own internal weather, thinking bigger than ourselves is the best way to make more space inside.

It turns out, you don't have to be "fixed" to be productive. You just have to learn how to sit with the noise.

Need a hand sitting with the noise? I've put the audio for 'Hanging Out With Your Stress' below so you can listen to it here. Let’s just put our music on and keep going at whatever pace we can manage.